Republished from a few years ago, due to problem with web-site admin:

Later this week, after years of being on a journey of awakening, I will travel to my favorite island in the world, Eleuthera, a place that has become my home away from home. During my upcoming trip, I will witness one of the most powerful solar eclipses of our lifetime, a life transforming event for those who believe in its power.

When the eclipse occurs on August 21st, I will complete a huge milestone in my life, having come full circle in my journey of awakening and quest to become my authentic self. The journey has been a long and arduous one, beginning March of 1999, when I first visited Harbour Island in the Bahamas, an out island of a larger island known as Eleuthera.

Eleuthera takes its name from the Greek word “eleutheria” meaning “freedom”. When I first visited Harbour Island in 1999, I was anything but free. I was a prisoner of life, trapped by societal conditioning as well as other people’s wants, needs, and expectations of who I should be.

Karis Is Drawn to Eleuthera, the Island of Freedom, for Her Awakening

It was thus fitting I would be drawn to Eleuthera to seek the freedom I craved, yet did not know how to find. My first trip to Harbour Island occurred just six weeks prior to the first of many life changing decisions, to leave my law partnership and venture into practice on my own.

For years, I went to Harbour Island and later the main island of Eleuthera in search of something or someone to fill an enormous void existing within me. The void first developed when I was bullied in fifth grade by a group of girls who made a crown of thorns to persecute me like Christ. In eighth grade, another major incident of bullying occurred when three hundred girls wore “I Hate Nikki” pins to school one day.

These incidents, along with numerous other ones occurring up into my professional career as a lawyer, left a formidable scar on my self-esteem. For decades, I struggled with self-esteem issues: hating the way I looked; striving to be perfect, hoping others would like me; doing things for others at the sacrifice of myself; looking for love in all the wrong places; and performing other self-defeating acts which only served to further deflate my self-esteem and deepen the void existing within me.

Karis Has a “Eureka” Moment, Beginning Her Journey of Awakening

I vividly recall the day when I had my “Eureka” moment…the day when I consciously began my journey of fixing the broken parts of me while awakening and becoming my authentic self. One particular day in 2008, I was at an all-time low, resulting from the death of my father, the emotional abandonment of family members and friends who had turned against me, the passing of two of my beloved pets, and failing health due to depression and fatigue, all coupled with huge financial losses caused by me wanting to “cash out of life” and move to a sunny island to escape.

I remember throwing myself onto the kitchen floor, wailing, asking for God to end my emotional pain by allowing me to take my life right then and there. Suddenly, a voice inside of me said, “Wait a minute, this isn’t me. I would never do such a thing to myself. I have a lot of important things left to do in this world.”

At that moment, I turned an emotional corner. I picked myself up off the floor and dusted myself off, so to speak. Through the ensuing months, I underwent several periods of intense introspection where I came to the painful realization I had been searching to fill the emotional void within me with all the wrong things. I had allowed family, friends, and associates to use and abuse me because I did not love myself. I had involved myself in intimate relationships with a recurring theme of unrequited love because I did not love myself. I had worked exceptionally long hours, rarely taking a break to indulge in pleasure, because I did not love myself. And the list goes on and on.

Karis Recognizes the Key to Repairing Her Self-Esteem, Leading to Her Awakening

I finally realized that the answer to filling my emotional void and repairing my battered self-esteem had been inside of me all along. I needed to look within myself and learn to love myself with all my faults, foibles, and imperfections versus seeking to fix myself externally through another person or relationship. I needed to clean emotional house of toxic people and situations which prevented me from being all I could be. I needed to honor my truth by becoming the authentic person I was meant to be as I could no longer remain the person others had constructed for me or the person who I thought I needed to be because of societal conditioning.

I am happy to report that after nearly two decades and numerous trips to the island of freedom, along with a journey of self-discovery that has taken me to hell and back again, I have finally learned to love and honor myself. I have finally awakened and found my authentic self, that self who was hidden beneath layer upon layer of negative thinking and conditioning imposed upon me by society, family members, friends, associates, and, yes, even my so-called “enemies.”  It was that self who had been screaming out to me for decades, “Look in here, and discover me!”

While it has taken me years to get to where I am at today, the rewards of my hard work have been enormous. I have finally found a gem hidden beneath the surface, a diamond known as my authentic self, who underwent an enormous amount of pressure through the years to become polished and strong in character.

Karis Recognizes the Key to Repairing Her Self-Esteem, Leading to Her Awakening

In speaking with people in the inspirational work that I do, I hear from them a resounding universal cry. I heard that same cry from myself for decades, a cry to break free from the wants, needs, and expectations of others to become my authentic self. Sadly, though, it is a cry going unanswered by so many people because they either don’t know how to begin answering it, or they are too afraid to do so.

While my journey of awakening is pretty much complete, I am about to embark upon another type of journey: becoming a published author, inspirational speaker, and entrepreneur whose mission is to uplift others. Through my inspirational company, Finding Zeni, I want to encourage others to discover their authentic self and to support them during their journey.

I truly believe each of us is born a diamond which remains hidden beneath all our tears, fears, and negative thinking. I have finally discovered my diamond and, in turn, my authentic self. Now, it is time for you to unearth your diamond and become the authentic person you are meant to be.

Stay tuned for book one of my book series, The Toad Chronicles, set to release late May/early June of 2018, and the launch of my inspirational company, Finding Zeni, at the same time. Both my book series and inspirational company are dedicated to assisting you in your journey of awakening and becoming your authentic self. For more information about them, visit the project pages here on my site.

Much love and blessings in your journey, Nikki Karis … xo